By Rajababu

Varun had started his expedition at 11 pm, after most of the people had gone to, or were going to bed. He had made all preparations for the trip. Since the entry point was through the nose, Varun knew he had to contend with a lot of mucus and slime. So he had worn rubber leotards with a retractible hood. Ah, small mercies for his hygiene, thought Varun as he quickly went up Barrister Chopra's nose and then softly fell on his tongue. Amazing sinuses thought Varun, and regretted it immediately, for his soft landing had caused Br. Chopra to sneeze. Since he had buck teeth, Chopraji used to keep his mouth partially open during his sleep. The first roar of air through his lungs sent Varun flying through the length of Chopraji's mouth. He dashed himself against Chopraji's incisors and fell in a heap at the bottom.

Five minutes later, Varun recovered consciousness. He went slowly back to the base of Chopraji's mouth and started sliding down his wind pipe. He was counting his steps. To avoid injury to his patient's inner body parts, Varun had worn simple slip pods on his feet. He had come to cure this man, not to injure him. Twenty steps down, Varun flashed his pocket torch around him and to the back of the oesophagus, Varun could see the massive verterbral columns of this renowned lawyer. Varun the doctor motioned to Varun the Reiki master sitting on his desk on the fourth floor of his Goregaon flat and clutching at a cluster of diagrams potraying the male anatomy with particular emphasis on the bone structure. Varun the Reiki master concentrated harder, and using a thin microned gauze, dropped a human body made of Plaster of Paris (PoP) onto the gauze. Behind the gauze, Varun at Goregaon had skillfully positioned a set of fiber glass structures closely resembling the human verterbra, complete with the spinal chord. The PoP human body got trapped between the two interstices of the gauze. Then the Reikist tweezed him out and again lowered him, this time, Varun gently passed through the oespophagal membrane and dropped onto the second rib of the left set of vertebrae. Now again, Varun the physicist was on his own.

He took another five minutes to figure out where exactly he was. Then slowly, he tied a thin biodegradable string onto this vertebral bone and finished it off with a reef knot. In another five days, this 'rope' would decompose. In his current form, Varun weighed 20 gms. Hardly a strain on the second verterbra of the 85-kg Barrister. Having secured the rope, Varun slipped the other end onto his hand as a knot and swung down. He had already calculated that with the existing length of the free rope, he would get a slack which would exactly swing him down to the fifth faulty vertebra. Attaboy, he mused as his legs struck the desired bone. Here, in the next five minutes, Varun searched the entire length of the bone and got what he wanted. A calciferous growth on the far end. Varun took out a plastic bag and a scalpel from his right pocket and started scraping away the calcium. Damn you, he muttered between his teeth, as the hard setting refused to give way quickly.

Two hours later, a tired and sleepy Varun chipped away at the last outgrowth. His bag was full to the brim. He had cured Br. Chopra of a very painful inflammation on his verterbral column. Some debris had fallen off during this two hour operation, but they would soon be flushed out of the incredible human body system. In any case, they wouldn't cause any problem as such. It was 3.30 before Varun hit the sack. Twice during the operation, he had dozed off, but having realized this possibility, he had taken care to strap himself with the rope.

The clock next to Varun's bed gave an ear-piercing whistle at 7.30 am. It woke him up immediately. Feeling very happy about his fifteenth successful operation as a Reiki specialist, Varun took a quick bath for the second time in five hours. Grooming his smooth hair, he picked up his already packed briefcase, and was about to leave the falt, when the mobile rang.

Searching about him, Varun realized that he was not carrying his mobile with him. He raced to the bathroom sill where it was still ringing. With a tinge of happiness, he noted the number on the dial. 98200-08965. Priya Verma. Madam. His madam. His life. To be more precise, his General Manger-Human Relations. His Madam. He pressed the talk button. Morning ma'am. Good morning, Varun, she replied. I am outside your building. Are you ready, or should I come up? No, no, he said. Don't come up, madam, I shall come down immediately. Good, should I go take a walk or are you actually ready? Two minutes, ma'am, two minutes, and he raced down the stairs like a demented dog. An obedient dog. A Labrador. That's what Priya used to call him.

As soon as he closed the door of the car, Priya revved the engine. Simultaneously, she glanced at Varun, who closed the glasses of the car and started the Air conditoner . On the dashboard, Varun could see a half-empty pack of Marlboro Lights. Good, he thought, Ma'am has still not had her fourth cigarette in the last fortnight. As the engine took to the SV Road, and under the flyovers, Varun had kept observing her delicate contours. Her alabster arms, her Grecian nose, her lovely features. Priya knew that he used to watch her, and now it seems she had got used to him doing so. A dog by it's master's side, tongue hanging, salivating, waiting for instructions.

At the junction of the Haji Ali circle, Priya suddenly swerved left and caught the Crossroads route. The speed toppled Varun to the right and caused him to fall on Priya's left shoulder. The impact made her swerve to the left near the garden. Priya lost her balance. The car hit the electric pole to the left and Priya hit the wheel and passed out. Nothing happened to Varun. When he saw her face, Varun realized that Priya was unconscious and was having a gash on her forehead. He reached out for her mobile and quickly dialed the number of Dr. Freni Mistry, the Company's doctor who lived on Peddar Road. He told him about the incident. Of course the doctor agreed to come to the spot.

Due to the tinted glasses, hardly anyone, not even the traffic police had noticed the accident. It was strange, thought Varun, as he slightly reversed the car and brought it to a respectable 'parking' space. He did not want to attract attention, since Priya hated public attention. She would give him a good firing later on (in case that happened) , which he didn't want.

In the next twenty minutes, Varun's life had turned upside down. The doctor came to the spot at 10.20 am. He saw an injured woman and a pale looking Varun Natarajan. The doctor knew that Varun had the hots for Priya. He put down the paleness to Varun's concern for Priya. The reality was different.

While searching for some money to pay for some contingency medicines, Varun had first emptied out his purse. Tough luck. A 1000 bucks. Then he saw Priya 's bag at the back. It was then that he saw the report on the downsizing of Meridian Limited. Among the list of twenty five non-performers to be thrown out, his name had figured fifth.

Of course, such confidential reports would have never been shown to him by Priya. That didn't bother him. What did was the amount of scorn Priya had heaped against him in the pages pertaining to him. That part of the report pertaining to him ran into a full five pages. There was nothing that m'am had not alleged against him. Things that were untrue. Why, the bitch had also written a paragraph on how he had tried to make a pass at her in a drunken state.

The whole day passed through like a haze. Through all his anger, Varun had been decent enough to escort Priya back to her home. She had protested against it, but didn't have the strength to drive back alone. Varun was the gallant man all through, he helped her out of the car and back to her flat and..... It was then that the idea occurred to him. He looked at her ear. Her beautiful ear. Yes, he said and studied her nightgown clad body for the next 5 hours. At 4 pm, Varun made her some coffee. By this time, the color had risen in Priya's cheeks. He helped her with her medicines. She muttered some grateful words and gave him one of her loveliest smiles. Varun looked at her and smiled. Tonight he would have his revenge.

By 7 pm, Varun reached his Goregaon flat. He spent the next 4 hours studying the human cerebellum. One single synapse in the lower portion of Priya's brain had to be severed, and she would become a vegetable for life. Never once did he feel any pity for her. Let her suffer, he thought as he put the blade into his pocket. A rusty blade, so that she suffers like hell.

In retrospect, probably Varun was wrong. But then again he had been a servant to Priya for the last four years. Her man Friday. And did she love it. She loved every moment of the affection that the handsome Varun was showering on her. And how did she reward him? By throwing him out in disgrace? No way. There had to be retribution. Tonight. By 12 midnight.

It took 30 minutes for Varun to mentally reach Priya's bedroom. He had taken care to spike her coffee with a tranquiliser. When the girl got up in the morning, she would be a vegetable. Paralysed on the right side.

He entered her left ear. He shone a light into the darkness ahead. Priya Verma was a hygienic woman. So was her ear. He went inside unobstructed and ascended into the left lobe of the brain. From there, through reverse osmosis, he proceeded to the synaptic area. There he was. And it was hardly 11.25 pm. You wretch, he thought, as he carefully took out the rusted blade.

He closed his eyes. He thought of the fifteen patients he had cured. He had never been to medical college. After his Bachelor's in Biology, he had straightaway enrolled in Symbiosis, Pune for the 2 year HR program.

He was supposed to give lives and jobs to people, not take them away. He put down the rusted blade back into the sheath in his pocket. He sat down cross-legged inside the synapse.

After two long hours of self-introspection, he quietly came out through the left ear and went back to his flat. He had not done a thing. The blade was never used.

He got up earlier than usual and went to the newspaper stand below. After all, when he went to office today, he would be given the boot by Madam.

After his bath, he had just finished highlighting the fourth vacancy for HR executive in the papers, when his mobile rang. Cautiously, he moved to it. He was shocked at the number displayed on the dial. The bitch, he thought, she still leading me on. He pressed the talk button. Hello, Good morning, Varun. Won't you open the door for me? Yes, ma'am, he said, almost as a Pavlovian reflex.

She spent almost twenty minutes in his 2 bedroom flat. In these twenty minutes, she had apologized to him for all her bad behaviour. She showed him a dossier where she said, she was planning only yesterday to throw him out. She was arrogant. She was half-crazed with success. She couldn't differentiate between right and wrong. Till yesterday night, when something clicked in her brain.

As Varun listened in amazement, Priya told him that she had woken up at 2 am in the night and experienced a goodness in her brain. Something that changed her life forever.

Before going, she held his hands and cried for ten minutes. When they left, Varun' s hands were soaked.

Its been a year now since the incident. Mrs. Priya Natarajan, is now a housewife. She rus a placement agency from their three bedroom hall flat at Bandra. Her husband, Varun, is now a Manager with Delaware Software Limited. Last night, he completed his fiftieth successful operation. Now Priya helps him out with the minute details. And yes, he never carries a rusty blade with him on these trips.