Cat Rescue - American Ish-tyle

Once upon a time, a few days ago there's this guy who happens to be taking a short nap after a hard days work. Thud!! Thud!! Thud!!! on the door. He answers the door, he sees two cops, and with their usual swagger "Sir would you care to step outside". The guy, armed with Ma's ashirvaad and a desi banayan steps outside, confused and scared to say the least. "Is that your car Sir???" thunders the cop pointing to the Toyota Celica, which is parked in the driveway.

Life has always been the fine art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. Well guess what, the desi-dude is doing precisely that right now!!. He's busy trying to answer questions he's posing himself, daaammit has someone placed some drugs in my car, this seems to be right out of the movies. But he does find time to blurt out a mumbled almost apologetic yes to the cop (This one's Bob, by the way).

By this time Bob now has a sense of great urgency and purpose in his eyes. "Holy cow!!, don't tell me its a bomb or something???". Bob points to the car with his baton and says - "Sir, I think we have a situation here.". All this has happened in the course of a minute .... and the dude has pinched himself for the umpteenth time, just to double check if this is really happening to him. But hey, he's wide wake and probably would be losing sleep for the rest of the week..... as a reasonable estimate he mutters to himself.

"There's a cat under your car Sir!!" thunders Bob, the desi-dude is relieved but he can't let a smile run across his face, what if he's sued for wanton cruelty against animals. With the most serious expression he says " I am sorry about this, I have no clue how this has happened. I have always been a very careful driver. No tickets ever!!! .... Sir". Bob, by this time is in splits. Yells out to his buddy "Hey Phil!!!, this guy thinks he ran over a cat, should we give him a ticket...he haw!!"(who for your information was still in town, I mention this cos' the decibel was high enough for Phil to hear it across the Tappen Zee Bridge). He haw... He haw ... He haw yeah sure thats a cool joke to pull on someone, who if he hits the pot could lay enough bricks to construct Empire state all over gain (if you will pardon my expression).

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Well this is what its all about... This cat, had the nerve to bite the neighbors son. Heights of feline audacity, how dare he a mere cat bite someone who just happened to give him a jolly spin or two by his tail. Hey you know what you pay in dollars to get these spins at Disney Land. So much for doing someone good, and you thought only humans were the only ingratiate nin-com-poop's around. By this time, one of the smarter mortals who had gathered to watch the show decides to reap a few benefits of state-of-the-art technology, flashes a cell-phone from his pocket and dials 911.

Bingo!!! and what do we have here now.... Bob, Phil, two fire-engines 3 more cop cars and a hoard of onlookers. The lights are flashing everywhere and it looks like some major disaster relief operation. Everyone has his eyes set on the car, but by this time the desi-dude has something else on his mind. How long has it been since I have had a car-wash, and looks like one of my headlights is broken.... is that gonna be a problem here, so much for unwanted limelight or better still flashlights.

The cat is totally unmoved by all this, he's carefully ensconced between the muffler and the jack-holder, and had left the lesser mortals cavil about his well being. The landlord who along with Bob and Phil lead the team of rescuers, now has his throat parched by repeating the phrase "Kitty, Kitty Kitten come to Papa baby....no one's gonna hurt you baby" one too many times. The cat FYI has a degree in English Literature. So Kitty is apparently following everything that he's saying and decides to do otherwise. While he's quenching his thirst with a Diet-Coke, he's struck with one of those bolts which makes one use ones wild imaginations rather than wise imaginations, hey how about getting my Labrador Sasha to do the needful. Sasha, if at first confused, no instructions from the lord you see.

Instruction:
public Bow-Bow sashaGet(const final Kitty, int shoo, long shoo) { }
Sasha's now in full flow, a bow-bow here & a bow-bow there, here a bow there a BOW, everywhere a BOW-BOW. Hey that sounds like Good Ol' McDonald's farm right. Anyways the story goes on, Sasha has turned out to be an ultimate failure but he's sort of started to like the limelight and decides to have a good flashlight-tan. Now Sasha, is being pulled away and he has decided to have kitty for dinner and if he can't get Kitty anyone close to him will do just fine, which in this case happened to be his Master. Strike one !!!!!

By this time, the grapevine is that Kitty has rabies, so two more calls have been dashed off one to the Medical Hazards Prevention Beureau and the second one to the Prevention of Cruelty Against Animals. So... so so whatdawe have here now