[nukkad] Excellent Literary Work

["anand v" <aviru@hotmail.com>]

>From nukkad-list-request@mumbai-central.com Fri Nov 28 22:31:59 1997
>Received: (from slist@localhost) by epsilon.pair.com (8.8.8/8.6.12) id 
BAA28637; Sat, 29 Nov 1997 01:31:46 -0500 (EST)
>Resent-Date: Sat, 29 Nov 1997 01:30:27 -0500 (EST)
>X-Envelope-To: aviru@hotmail.com
>From: sudeepg@nse.co.in
>Old-X-Envelope-To: <nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com>
>X-Lotus-FromDomain: NSEIL
>To: nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com
>Message-ID: <6525655E.0022375D.00@surya.nse.co.in>
>Date: Sat, 29 Nov 1997 11:46:10 +300500
>Subject: [nukkad] Excellent Literary Work
>Resent-Message-ID: <"2rYZtD.A.LwG.Da7f0"@epsilon.pair.com>
>Resent-From: nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com
>X-Mailing-List: <nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com> archive/latest/597
>X-Loop: nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com
>Precedence: list
>Resent-Sender: nukkad-list-request@mumbai-central.com
>Reply-To: <nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com>
>Organization: Mumbai Central
>
>
>>>>  Laugh your guts out !
>>>>
>>>> > RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:
>>>> > You know that book. Men are from Mars, Women from Venus?
>>>> > Well, here's a prime example of that.  This assignment was
>>>> > actually turned in by two of my English students:  Rebecca - last
>>>> > name deleted and Gary - last name deleted.
>>>> > > >>
>>>> > English 44A
>>>> > SMU
>>>> > Creative Writing
>>>> > Prof. Miller
>>>> > >
>>>> > In-class Assignment for Wednesday
>>>> > Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
>>>> > The process is simple.  Each person will pair off with the person
>>>> > sitting to his or her immediate right.  One of you will then 
write
>>>> > the first paragraph of a short story.  The partner will read the
>>>> > first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.  The
>>>> > first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and
>>>> > forth.  Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
>>>> > order to keep the story coherent.  The story is over when both
>>>> > agree a conclusion has been reached.
>>>> > >
>>>> > >------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
>>>> > The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings
>>>> > at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
>>>> > happier times, that he liked chamomile.  But she felt she must
>>>> > now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl.  His possessiveness
>>>> > was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
>>>> > asthma started acting up again.  So chamomile was out of the
>>>> > question.
>>>> > >------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
>>>> > squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
>>>> > think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo
>>>> > named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a
>>>> > year ago.  "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
>>>> > transgalactic communicator.  "Polar orbit established. No sign of
>>>> > resistance so far..."  But before he could sign off a bluish
>>>> > particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
>>>> > his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
>>>> > flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
>>>> > >------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
>>>> > felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
>>>> > woman who had ever had feelings for him.  Soon afterwards, Earth
>>>> > stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
>>>> > Skylon 4.  "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
>>>> > Space Travel."  Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.  The
>>>> > news simultaneously excited  her and bored her.  She stared out
>>>> > the window, dreaming of her  youth, when the days had passed
>>>> > unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
>>>> > television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder
>>>> > at all the beautiful things around her.  "Why must one lose one's
>>>> > innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>>>> > > >>------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.
>>>> > Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
>>>> > launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles.  The dim-
>>>> > witted wimp peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace 
Disarmament
>>>> > Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for 
the
>>>> > hostile
>>>> > alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.  
Within
>two
>>>> > hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were 
on
>>>> > course
>>>> > for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire
>>>> > planet.  With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
>>>> > diabolical plan.  The lithium fusion missile entered the 
atmosphere
>>>> > unimpeded.  The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
>>>> > headquarters
>>>> > on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably
>massive
>>>> > explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans.  
The
>>>> > President slammed his fist on the conference table.  "We can't 
allow
>>>> > this!
>>>> > I'm going to veto that treaty!  Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
>>>> > ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > This is absurd.  I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.  
My
>>>> > writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate 
adolescent.
>>>> > ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > Yeah?  Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose 
attempts
>at
>>>> > writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
>>>> > ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > Asshole.
>>>> > ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>> > Bitch.
>>>> >
>
>***************************************************************************
>**************************************
>Sent By:            sudeepg@nse.co.in
>***************************************************************************
>**************************************
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>To Subscribe [Unsubscribe] send e-mail to 
>        nukkad-list-request@mumbai-central.com 
>with the word 'subscribe' ['unsubscribe'] (without quotes) in the body 
of 
>your message.
>The list is archived at  
<http://www.mumbai-central.com/nukkad/archive.html>.
>
>


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Subscribe [Unsubscribe] send e-mail to 
        nukkad-list-request@mumbai-central.com 
with the word 'subscribe' ['unsubscribe'] (without quotes) in the body of 
your message.
The list is archived at  <http://www.mumbai-central.com/nukkad/archive.html>.