[nukkad] worth reading, but dont cry ;)

[Mohammed Khaleel Ahmed <>]

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		Hi There!!

		It all started when I was 16 years old. While I was playing
outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy
who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first
meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up
at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at
the fence all the time and we were always together. I would tell him all my
secrets. He was very quiet he would just listen to what I had to say. I
found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In
school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk
about what happened in school. One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt
me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be
okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was
happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was
something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and
figured it was just a Friend kinda thing that I was feeling. All through
high school and even through graduation we're always together and of course
I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt
differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the
prom I wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to
his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night
was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the
stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do.
I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was.
How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be
rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next
to him. I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was feeling. I
wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and
frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell
him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always
had someone with him. After graduation he got a job in New York; I was happy
for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because
I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was
leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on
the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last
time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I
didn't tell him what I had inside my heart. Well, I got a job as a secretary
and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had
accomplished. One day I got a letter with an invitation to a wedding. It was
from him; I was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could
never be with him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding
the next month. It was a big occasion. It was a big church wedding with the
reception at a hotel. I met the bride and of course I talked to him too. I
fell in love one more time. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should
be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was
killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy
covering up my sadness tears inside of me. I left New York feeling that I
did the right thing. Before I left on the flight, he came running out of
nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me. I came
home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. I had to go on
with my life. As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going
on and how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back
to me at all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for
a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when
everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said: "Meet
me at the fence where we used to talk about things". I went and saw him
there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. We
hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore. Then he told me about the divorce
and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried until he couldn't cry
anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about
what I had been going and to catch up on old times. But in all of this, I
couldn't tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed, he had
fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce. I fell in love again
with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see
him off and cried. I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every
time he could get a vacation. I couldn't wait for him to come so I could be
with him. We would always have fun when we were together. One day he didn't
show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been busy. The
days turned into months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one
day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car
accident going to the airport, and that it took this long till everything
was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took place. Now I
knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted. I cried that
night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. I asked questions: "Why did
this happen to a kind guy like him?" I gathered my things and went to New
York for the reading of his will. Of course, things were given to his family
and his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the
wedding. She explained to me how he was and how he always provided. But he
was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn't get him
happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the will was read, the
one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a dairy that of his life.
I cried as it was given to me. I didn't know what to think. Why was this
given to me? I took it and flew back to California. As I flew on the plane I
remembered the good times that we had together. I started reading the diary
and what was written. The diary was started with the day we first met. I
read on till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had
fallen in love with me that day I was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid
to tell me what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen
to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid
to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with
another. How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at
the wedding. He said he imagined it was our wedding. How he was always
unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in
his life was to read the letters written to him by me. Finally, the diary
ended when it said, "today I will tell her I love her". It was the day he
was killed. The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his
heart. ......................
				(Author: Fatima).

		so remember, If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow
to tell him/her. Maybe the next day will never come at all........... ;) 

		love
		Khaleel 



		


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