Re: [nukkad] Life smiles

["Hiroo Pardasani" <>]

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  Love is blind but desire doesn't give a good goddam.
		--James Thurber
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>
> Ragini about children & parents :
>
Here is another one.....

Discover Your Self Through Children
By Rajeev Ahuja
[ THE TIMES OF INDIA NEWS SERVICE ]


Why have children? I often put this question to parents and I get varied
answers: For the sheer joy of having them around, to ensure the continuity
of the family tree, to produce heirs, for security in old age, and so on.


Others say that children enrich their lives. But how? I've always wanted to
hear more on this, but they usually stop short of giving a deeper
explanation.


In fact, very few parents have been able to give expression to the learning
experience they undergo in the process of raising or interacting with
children.


Raising children or educating them is not just a one-sided affair where all
learning / teaching flows from the parents or teachers to the
child-students.


Unfortunately, most parents tend to believe that this process is one-sided.
However, it is by now a recognised fact that the reverse flow is equally
important. The presence of children, without doubt, enriches our lives.


But dealing with them also helps us become better human beings. For parents
who are going through an exciting phase in their work life, spending time
with their children is a costly proposition as it might involve making
compromises that could affect their careers. "Doing well in our profession
is a lot easier than dealing with children", confess some parents.


There are some mothers and fathers who make a conscious decision to actually
slow down their pace of work to be able to devote more time to their
children. There are others who take the easy way out by substituting
material comforts in their children's lives to make up for their absence.
Those who depend on maids and tutors to cater to their children's needs
justify their actions by saying: "We are simply concentrating on doing what
we are good at, leaving the children's care to professionals".


There are a few parents who have the time but who would rather not spend it
on children for fear of getting left behind in the leisure activities of
their peer group or there are those who get bored in the constant company of
children. "Don't we have a life of own?'' they ask. Others feel they are not
adequately equipped - education or experience-wise, to cater to the growing
needs of a modern-day child. All these responses are the result of either
ignorance or lack of perspective about children. It is obviously not because
of lack of goodwill or love for the child. Who doesn't want his or her child
to do well in life?


Parental involvement in a child's upbringing is essential not only for the
child's development but also for the evolvement of the parents. There is
nothing wrong in worrying about one's career or in nursing ambitions but
care should be taken that it is not at the expense of interacting with
children and also learning from them.


Children can provide deep insights into human behaviour, especially since
unlike when relating to adults, you are starting on a clean slate. You feel
less inhibited, less reluctant with children than you do with grown-ups.
Typically, since one associates more closely with one's own children than
with those of others, this learning comes more readily when the children are
one's own or raised in the same environment.


Patience and an unhurried attitude helps in a child-adult interaction. "How
can explaining to your child for the umpteenth time, the difference between
the alphabets 'd' and 'b' or teaching which shoe will go into which foot, be
interesting?" wonder some exasperated parents. This is the challenge: How
creative can you get in transmitting knowledge to a child? As you experiment
with different ways of teaching your child, you also get to know things you
never thought of before. The child and the adult end up learning from each
other.


Children, in a way, help you discover yourself. This they do by exposing you
to many unexpected situations, putting you in testing circumstances, asking
embarrassing questions and even demanding explanations for things you
normally take for granted. In the process, you tend to develop better
control over your thoughts, speech, actions and moods. Dealing with children
strengthens you emotionally, and stimulates your powers of reasoning.


Through their numerous questions, children make you recognise your own
limitations. How many times has a junior school kid outsmarted you? You
begin to appreciate that size, age and experience alone don't really matter.
Children can make you feel young. They keep you mentally alert and
physically active. They also keep you apprised of the changing times. If
living is an art, as many people believe it is, children help you perfect
this art.


(The author is a fellow at the Indian Council for Research on International
Economic Relations, New Delhi)

Best Wishes.. Have a Nice Day.
Hiroo Pardasani
modpub@vsnl.com
visit: www.modpub.com



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