Re: [nukkad] Self Pity

["Samira Razdan" <>]

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I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and 
money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" 
I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)
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Adheer posted...
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Self Pity                   by D. H. Lawrence

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.
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Well... I do not know about animals and birds, but as far as humans
are concerned ...
Who does not like to wallow in self-pity once in a while? :-(
Complaining... whining... melodrama... sighing...
I think we all do... specially when bad things happen and there is
a direct negative impact on us... we do feel sorry for ourselves.
Also... many of us have grown up with people who have taught us to
deal with pain or sorrow with self-pity.

Now... self-pity is a genuine emotion and I think it needs to be
honored and processed just like any other emotion.

But is it not important to understand how our processing of
"self-pity" affects those around us?

Do we sigh/whine to get the attention/support/sympathy of others?
And as we sigh and whine... are we trying to control others by getting
them to do things out of pity or guilt?
Do we feel a sense of entitlement because of what we have suffered?
...

In my opinion... the difference between engaging in healthy self-care
versus hurtful self-pity is how aware we are of our impact on those
around us... how conscious we are of our true feelings and most
importantly... how willing we are to take responsibility for helping
ourselves.

In short... the difference between feeling sorry for ourselves in a
healthy way and self-pity at its worst is a matter of timing, duration
and intention.

Sincerely,
-Sam.









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