Re: [nukkad] co*re*

[Dr T Vasudevan <>]

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If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would 
quickly perish since they constantly pray for many evils to befall 
one another. -Epicurus, philosopher (c. 341-270 BCE)
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anna:



> By 'change' I meant changing the tradition. But obviously it must begin

on individual level. And are they not willing? Perhaps Indian women should

answer..? I can only imagine that if I were one, I would be willing, but

what I say is filtered through different background...



it is certainly not a tradition to harass the new dil.

it is a social evil that seems to have crept into some sections of the

society.

it has no sanction in the sastras and certainly not worth calling a

tradition.

the sastras may say the male is superior to females but also says where the

female sheds tears the gods certainly do not reside.

for the hindus of the yester years the rituals were the important things to

do and a man without a wife loses the right to do them.

old Tamil literature shows that a male had to pay money to get a bride.

it is only when the male female ratio got reversed that the situation has

changed.

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<Why is the same pattern repeated? Perhaps because only this one is known,

or widely accepted. And it takes some courage to oppose generally accepted

standards. One first has to get rid of the fear of being ostracised. Which

is extremely hard, as I gather from what has been said about Indian society

here.>

when family looks on a bride as an alien not a part of the family this can

happen.

why does that happen?

has the bride failed to identify herself with the new found home?

if a bride really sets her mind to it, she can win the love and affection of

the entire household and be the queen.how can anybody hate a person who

showers unqualified love on you?

unfortunately the ego does not allow.

every mil has her own concepts of how things are to be done in every small

work around the house.

silly but it is there.

it is no big deal to sail along with these idiosyncrasies.

just a little tact and some determination, in my mind is the recipe.

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regards

drtv


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