[nukkad] This's a long read ... But really funny and great!!!

["Somasundaram K" <somasundaram_k@trigent.com>]

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>> HAVING A BAD DAY?
>>
>> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need
>to
>> take it out on someone!!!  Don't take that bad day out on someone you
>know,
>> take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!
>>
>> Now get this.  I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I
>> had to make.
>>
>> I found the number and dialed it.
>>
>> A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
>>
>> I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to
>Robin
>> Carter?"
>>
>> Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!  I couldn't believe that anyone
>> could be that rude.
>>
>> I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.  I had transposed
>the
>> last two digits incorrectly.
>>
>> After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there
>on
>> my desk.
>>
>> I decided to call it again.
>>
>> When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and
>> hung up.
>>
>> Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk
>> drawer.
>>
>> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day,
>I'd
>> call him up.
>>
>> He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me
>up.
>>
>> Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID.  This was a real
>> disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.
>>
>> Then one day I had an idea.  I dialed his number, then heard his voice,
>> "Hello."
>>
>> I made up a name.  "Hi, this is Mike Smith with the sales office of the
>> telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our
>> caller ID program?"
>>
>> He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.  I quickly called him back and
>> said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
>>
>> The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if
>> there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.
>>
>> Just dial 823-4863.
>>
>> [Keep reading, it gets better.]
>>
>> An old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking
>> place.
>>
>> I didn't think she was ever going to leave.
>>
>> Finally, she got the car in reverse and she began to move ... very slowly
>> backing out of the slot.
>>
>> I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
>>
>> Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
>>
>> All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the
>> wrong direction and pulls into her space.
>>
>> I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I
>was
>> here first!"
>>
>> The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me.  He walked
>toward
>> the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
>>
>> I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses
>in
>> this world.
>>
>> Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car.
>>
>> I wrote down the number.
>>
>> Then I hunted for another place to park.
>>
>> A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk.  I had just gotten
>> off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!"
>(It's
>> really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)
>>
>> I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my
>desk
>> and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
>>
>> After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."  I
>said,
>> "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
>>
>> "Yes, it is."
>>
>> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>>
>> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street.  It's a yellow house and the car's
>> parked right out front."
>>
>> I said, "What's your name?"
>>
>> "My name is Don Hansen."
>>
>> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>>
>> "I'm home in the evenings."
>>
>> "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
>>
>> "Yes."
>>
>> "Don, you're a jackass!"  And I slammed the phone down.
>>
>> After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.
>>
>> For a while things, seemed to be going better for me.
>>
>> Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call.
>>
>> Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on
>them,
>> it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
>>
>> I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
>>
>> First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.
>>
>> A man answered nicely saying,"Hello."
>>
>> I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
>>
>> The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
>>
>> I said, "Yeah."
>>
>> He said, "Stop calling me."
>>
>> I said, "No."
>>
>> He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
>>
>> I said, "Don Hansen."
>>
>> He said "Where do you live?"
>>
>> "1802 West 34th Street.  It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked
>> out front."
>>
>> "I'm coming over right now, Don.  You'd better start saying your prayers."
>>
>> "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
>>
>> Then I called Jackass #2.  He answered, "Hello."
>>
>> I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
>>
>> He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>>
>> "You'll what?"
>>
>> "I'll kick your butt."
>>
>> "Well, here's your chance.  I'm coming over right now, Jackass!"
>>
>> And I hung up.
>>
>> Then I picked up the phone and called the police.
>>
>> I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my
>> gay lover as soon as he got home.
>>
>> Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th
>> Street.
>>
>> After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch
>the
>> whole thing.
>>
>> Glorious!  Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in
>> front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and channel 13 news cameras!!!
>>
>> It was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
>>
>> [Name withheld to protect the guilty.]
>> Masilamani  N
>> Trigent Software Ltd
>> Bangalore 560 095
>>
>> Tel : 080 - 5710711
>> Mail : masilamani_n@trigent.com
>>
>
>
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     <)_>== `'==>>=======<<==`'====<_(>
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  <mailto:somasundaram_k@trigent.com>    




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