Hello,
NEW COMPANY POLICIES ARE AS
FOLLOWS.
SICKNESS:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement
as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go
to the doctor, you are able
to come to work.
OPERATIONS:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an
employee here,
you need all that you have. You should not
consider removing
anything. We hired you intact. To have
something removed
constitutes a breach of
employment.
DEATH OF OTHERS:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do
for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be
made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare
cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral
should be scheduled in the late afternoon-we will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave
one hour early, provided your share of the work is enough to
keep
the job going in your
absence.
YOUR OWN DEATH:
This
will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least
two
weeks notice as it is your duty to train your
replacement.
REST ROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the
future, we will follow the practice of going in
alphabetical
order.
For instance, those whose names
begin with 'A' will go from 8:00
to 8:10, employees whose names begin
with 'B' will go from 8:10 to
8:20 and so on. If you're unable
to go at your time, it will be
necessary to wait until the next day
when your time comes again. In
extreme emergencies employees may
swap their time with a coworker.
This exchange must be approved by both employee's
supervisors.
PAYCHECK GUIDE:
The
following helpful guide has been prepared to help our
employees better
understand their paychecks:
Gross pay -
$1222.02
Income Tax - 244.40
Outgo Tax -
45.21
State Tax - 11.61
Interstate Tax-
61.10
County Tax - 6.11
Rural Tax -
4.44
Back Tax - 1.11
Front Tax -
1.16
Side Tax - 1.61
Down Tax -
1.11
Tic-Tacs - 1.98
Thumbtacks -
3.93
Carpet Tacks - 0.98
Stadium Tax -
0.69
Flat Tax - 8.32
Surtax -
3.46
Ma'am Tax - 2.60
Parking Fee -
5.00
F.I.C.A. - 81.88
T.G.I.F. Fund -
9.95
Life Ins. - 5.85
Health Ins. -
16.23
Disability - 2.50
Ability -
0.25
Liability Ins.- 3.41
Unreliability Ins. -
10.99
Dental Ins. - 4.50
Mental Ins. -
4.33
Reassurance 0.11
Coffee - 6.85
Coffee Cups -
66.51
Floor Rental - 16.85
Chair Rental -
.32
Desk Rental - 4.32
Union Dues -
5.85
Union Don'ts - 3.77
Cash Advances -
0.69
Cash Retreats - 121.35
Overtime -
1.26
Undertime - 54.83
Eastern Time -
9.00
Central Time - 8.00
Mountain Time -
7.00
Pacific Time - 6.00
Time Out -
12.21
Oxygen - 10.02
Water -
16.54
Heat - 51.42
Cool Air - 46.83
Misc. - 133.39
Take Home Pay:
$0000.02
Thank you for your loyalty to our
company. We are here to
provide a positive employment experience. All
questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,
aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplations,
consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a happy new year with the
company..
WWR
H