Re: [nukkad] Dowry

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Bharat Kapadia wrote: In my engineering college in Mumbai, I had my best
friend who was 
from the Marwari Jain community. His father had a printing press and had
three sons and four daughters. My frined told me that to get his four
sisters married, his father and three brothers will have work day and night
and they may still not be able to save the printing press, as it may have to
be sold to pay the girls' dowries.

# May be the three boys will get enough dowry to save the printing press and
conduct marriage of four sisters. It is not one-sided. The boy who lamented
about the liability to pay dowry for his sisters will not have any qualms in
taking dowry when he marries. His justification would be that after all we
paid dowry for my sisters so we have to make good the loss and save the
printing press. Can't blame him. The vicious circle continues. 
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Bharat: Thus, when men (boys) lust after material benefits that they could
obtain from the prospective father-in-law, this dowry problem arises. 

# If we wait till the lust for material benefits abates, the problem will
never be tackled. As Pankaj observed, it is a question of women's
empowerment. A father who is harassed by the Son-in-law for more dowry would
pay up rather than welcome his daughter back to his house-hold. He perceives
that his daughter will have social stigma. Whatever the price, whatever the
sufferings of his daughter, he wants to keep his daughter in her husband's
house. If she says enough is enough and deserts her husband, she has nowhere
to go. Even if she is decently employed and can support herself, a women
staying alone is not treated kindly by the society. More than lust for
material benefits, it is our attitude towards women that needs to be
changed.

We ban payment of dowry but do not have a law to give a fair share of family
property to women. In the bargain, parents of girls end up paying more than
a fair share of their property as dowry. Sons only families flourish and
parents of daughters perish. No wonder we have female infanticide practiced
without scruples. 

The attitude that girls are 'paraya dhan' has an impact on whatever little
rights law confers on her. The desire to keep property 'within family'
prompts the owners to will the property to male relatives rather than give
share to females who will take it to another house. Besides wholesale
changes to Hindu succession Act, a law stipulating that not more than 30% of
property can be willed away to the detriment of female successors is also
needed. 

V.K.Venugopal


 



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