Re: RE: [nukkad] Dowry

["Mahesh chandra gupta" <>]

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Not all those who wander are lost. -J.R.R. Tolkien,
novelist and philologist (1892-1973)
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There has been much discussion on the list about dowry. It is time I butt in.My views are given below.
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MY THOUGHTS ABOUT DOWRY

1.	It is a fact that dowry is illegal and the practice persists in spite of being illegal.

2.	Therefore, either the law is faulty or the people are faulty.

3.	It is difficult to hold that a billion Indians today [muslims and Christians included] and billions in the past through the times since dowry has been a custom are faulty, especially when these include highly educated persons.

4.	I hold that the law is faulty. The fault in law I have stated in the past, about two months ago, in the context of discussion about women’s share in property. Details may be looked in the archives.

5.	Before discussing further, we must be clear in our mind as to what do we mean by dowry.

6.	Legal meaning of dowry is that which the wife brings to her husband but, there are three more ways in which a wife can be given assets by the father:

A.	As stree dhan, which is the things/assets given to the wife for her own use as her own property under her own title.
B.	As support to the new couple to help them in intial years of marriage when earnings are not much but the expenses of the boy/couple suddenly increase in consequence of marriage;
C.	As wife’s share out of the assets of her parental family, of which she has been a part .


7.	In brief, the good points about dowry are as follows:

A.	It provides an initial prop or support to the new couple who are at the bottom of earning capacity in their younger age but who find their financial responsibilities suddenly multiplied in consequence of marriage
B.	It provides security to the girl in case the husband becomes unemployed, crippled or dead. [ Presuming that the assets brought by her is available to her and not usurped by others]
C.	It fulfils the purpose  of giving to the girl her share out of father’s property in one go at a time when she most needs her, without any need for litigation to secure the same. [It must be noted that, as per one reliable source, my wife,  many girls force their parents to give a certain amount of dowry and even quarrel with their parents that they are giving les dowry to her than they gave for her sister].

8.	I am not sure the practice of dowry in Hindus is increasing. It may be so, but I have not come across any hard data. Apparent/alleged increase may simply be because of increased awareness and media publicity, as also increase in absolute numbers but decrease in percent incidence.
9.	Conclusion—I think the solution lies in legitimizing dowry by legally recognizing the concept of notional partial partition of joint hindu family at time of marriage and giving the girl’s share to her. [Unmarried daughter is part of JHF]. In this approach, dowry may be legally defined to include this concept. This should end once for all the question of girl’s share in parental property. The only question remaining would be about father’s individual property, for which the best thing would be for the father to write a will in which he would be free to give nil, any or all of his property to the daughter. This is what I meant by the flaw in law.

MC Gupta

On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 zaverirm wrote :
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>The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from
>a strong will, and the other from a strong won't. -- Henry Ward Beecher
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>
>I would like to narrate a personal
>incident. In my engineering college in Mumbai, I had my best friend who was
> from the Marwari Jain community. His father had a printing press and had
>three sons and four daughters. My frined told me that to get his four
>sisters married, his father and three brothers will have work day and night
>and they may still not be able to save the printing press, as it may have to
>be sold to pay the girls' dowries.
>Haribol,
>Bharat Kapadia
>============================================================================
>=======
>I totally agree with Bharat bhai,
>In Marwaris, jains included, dowry custom assumes ugly proportions. All
>sorts
>of demands are put forward. Since my uncle lived in Delhi which is full of
>Marwari Jains, me and my brother both received many 'lucrative' offers from
>fathers of Marwari girls. In 1980 I was offered the equivalent of one crore,
>(which included a two bedroom flat at Marine Lines) while my younger who
>lives                   in Delhi and is better off than me, was offered two
>crores way back in 1981.
>The girl in my case was only 12 th grade passed and some 8 years my junior !
>We both flatly refused these proposals and got fixed up with Gujarati girls
>who are today our good wives.
>I discovered that Marwaris appoint brokers to finalize money and other
>details
>and these brokers are specialized only in match fixings and live full time
>on this occupation !!
>There is atleast 50 years of social developement gap between Gujjus and
>Marwaris, althugh both are principally merchant communities.
>One more thing I learnt and that was Gujju Jains are dwarfs in front of
>Marwari Jains as far as wealth goes.............but who cares ??
>
>Rohit Zaveri.
>
>
>
>
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