[nukkad] Indians vis-a-vis Americans

["Pravin Walunjkar" <1>]

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The following mail was received by a friend.  Made interesting reading.
I've deleted all personal / extraneous details.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Let me give you an outsider's perception of Americans (having worked and
interacted with them from time to time): 

Honesty does not begin with the big stuff. It begins with the small
things of life. 

For example, if you dress up the way you feel good, you are being honest
to yourself. Americans would score pretty high on this account on a
scale of 0 to 10. Indians would fail miserably. Right from an Indian
politician to an Indian young man to an Indian lady, we usually dress up
for others, not the way we would like to. 

Frankness and straightforwardly stating your likes and dislikes, your
comments and reactions etc. clearly, is Honesty. Pretentiousness and
hiding your true feelings all the time, is Dishonesty. Indians fail on
this account most of the times. If we love someone, we won't show it
explicitly, and if we hate someone, we won't show it either. And we will
always show-off what we really don't have. 

One of the Korean ladies I know closely, is married to a Westerner.
There is such a major culture gap between the two. The guy says
everything directly at her face, whatever he likes or dislikes about her
or her country. He doesn't mean to deride her or her country, and in
fact if she reacts back with a sting to his any comment, he gets
completely surprised: "What on earth did I say wrong?" He is so
plain-faced and unambiguous. 

When it comes to business, it is completely amazing for me to deal with
the Americans. They will demand their pound of flesh like Shakespeare's
Shylock - but will do it upfront, right at the negotiating table,
looking straight into your eye. But once the deal is done, they will
almost never go back on their word, and will trust you completely.
Whereas an Indian businessman will usually not open all his cards at the
time of negotiation, and will be extra-sweet with you till then. But the
moment you are trapped with him, he will skin you alive. 

"Sorry" is one word which is almost non-existent in an Indian's
dictionary. If someone touches the rear bumper of your car in India
(whether it is a rickshawallah or a Mercedes wallah), instead of saying
"Sorry", he will on the contrary frown back at you only! He is so
dishonest to himself that he is convinced that he is being honest! He
has never been wrong in his whole life, and has never said "Sorry" to
anyone in his whole life. That's how he has been brought up. That's an
average Indian for you. 

There are hundreds of such daily-life examples which would distinguish a
Westerner from an Indian. 

Honesty and Truthfulness (matter-of-factliness) constitute the
foundation of self-esteem and self-confidence. As they say, never trust
a man who tends to be obtuse (not straightforward) or extra-sweet with
you. He is a dishonest man. 

This daily-life dishonesty of Indians eventually snowballs into the
greater ills of the Indian society. A child who sees his father telling
business lies over the phone everyday, and sees his mother leading a
pretentious life (not calling a spade a spade) to survive in her
society, what values that child is going to gain in his life? 

I visited a government insurance office in Delhi this time in the third
week of December for some work. I could not find a single officer whom I
could talk to. The head clerk told me that one officer was out of
office, and remaining 3 officers were on leave because it was the last
few days of the year, so they must consume their annual leave by calling
in sick. The clerk added: "I've myself returned to work only last week
after 7 days of ("sick") leave. Making false affidavits, false bills,
false claims, false tax returns, false applications and so on.. these
are rampant practices in the Indian society. Dishonesty is the accepted
norm in daily life. Honesty is viewed like an alien, a UFO in India. 

To start with, let's strive to make India an oasis where you can dare to
be honest with yourself, without being called a lunatic. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
have a great day !
- pravin walunjkar. 
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