[nukkad] FOUR WAYS TO BECOME A LISTENING PARENT

[Albert Joseph <A.Joseph@jandp.com.sa>]

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FOUR WAYS TO BECOME A LISTENING PARENT
Instead of talking at your kids or listening to them over the top of a
newspaper, you can learn to really listen to them - and improve the quality
of your relationship.
1	Simply shut up and let your children talk. You can't listen if
you're talking. Zip it! Close your mouth and force yourself to let your
children talk. Listen to their words.  Examine the expressions on their
faces as they convey their thoughts. By listening regularly and repeatedly,
you will begin to get to know your child. Keep this thought: Talk and you
say what you already know, but listen and you can learn something new.
2	Structure the time and place to listen. It's hard to talk next to a
passing freight train. There is a time and place most appropriate to listen
to your child. Find out where that place is. It may be fishing, eating lunch
at McDonald's, going grocery shopping, walking in the mall, watching a
football game, sitting on the back porch, or tucking your child in at night.
If you don't know the best places to get your child to talk, pay attention
the next time your child opens up. What are you doing? Where are you? There
are times when both Mom and Dad can listen together; however, kids have a
tendency to open up more with just one parent present.

3 Squelch all interruptions. What gets in the way to the
	listening time with your son or daughter? Identify those
interruptions and make a commitment to stop them. When you're home, keep the
telephone conversations as short as possible, turn off the TV, keep the
radio low, and get ready to start listening to your kids. This sets the
atmosphere for conversation instead of vegging out in front of the TV.
4 Inhibit an explosive response. Hear the full story before
	jumping to conclusions. When you become a good listener, you can
learn some things that might have provoked a quick-tempered response on
other occasions. It can be trying at times and difficult to accomplish, but
hold your response until the right time. The role of parents is to
discipline, correct, disagree, and confront. Sequentially, this should
happen after you have listened and heard all the facts and sentiment your
children are attempting to express.
>From The Christian Family Answer Book, © 1996 by Mike Yorkey.



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