Definitions

[Rashmin Sejpal <rashmins@usa.net>]

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let me add some more to this list

History: The useful knowledge of useless people

Outstanding student: A student who stands outside the class when the lecture
is going on

Teacher: A person who keeps on talking and doesn't allow others to talk.

Life Insurance: Keeps you poor through out your life so that you can die Rich.

Friend: A bank of account from which you cannot withdraw anything without any
deposit.


-Rashmin
Tel:X26906


-----Original Message-----
From: hchhaya@epsilon.pair.com [mailto:hchhaya@epsilon.pair.com]On
Behalf Of Chetan N Pandya
Sent: Monday, May 31, 1999 5:06 AM
To: nukkad-list@mumbai-central.com; Vinit Jain; Hanoz; Robin Paul;
friend_chets
Cc: vanii@mailcity.com
Subject: Definitions


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Definitions:
     ~~~~~~~~~~~
     Smile     :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
     Rumour    :- News that travels at the speed of sound.
     Dictionary:- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
     College   :- A place where some pursue learning and others learn
                       pursuing.
     Ecstasy   :- A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
                       feeling you have never felt before.
     Office    :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous
                    homelife.
     Yawn      :- The only time some married men ever get to open
                      their mouth.
     Etc.      :- A sign to make others believe that you know more
                    than you actually do.
     Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit
                         to decide that nothing can be done together.
     Classic   :- A book which people praise, but do not read.
     Marriage  :- It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
                      degree and woman gains her master's.
     Worry     :- Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
     Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
     Tears     :- The hydraulic force by which masculine power is
                      defeated by feminine power.
     Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
     Philosopher:-A fool who torments himself during life, to be
                        spoken of when dead.
     Diplomat  :- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
                        that you actually look forward to the trip.
     Optimist  :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
                      falls into a river.
     Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
                        instead of the  first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
     Miser     :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
     Father    :- A banker provided by nature.
     Criminal  :- A guy no different from the rest... except that he
                       got caught.
     Boss      :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when
                       you are early.
     Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your
                      confidence after.
     Doctor    :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and  kills
                      you with his bills.
     Software
     Engineer  :- Who is paid for reading this mail.


Chets




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