[nukkad] Greetings

[("Hobbes") <KASHMIRA.MISTRY@aig.com>]

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Subject:  Greetings


SAYINGS THAT YOU'LL NEVER FIND ON GREETING CARDS


Congratulations on your new job.
You were never liked here anyway.

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife.

When I heard about the operation,
I just had to say...am I in your  will?

I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After  having met you, I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
I never believed in Hell 'til I met you.

Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder: what the fuck was I thinking?!

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
that you're not here to ruin it for me.

Thanks for being a part of my life.
I never knew what evil was before this!

Congratulations on your promotion.
But before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened,
especially since you survived.

Mother, for every year that goes by,
I just think of that inheritance getting closer and closer....

I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so doggone ugly.

They say that an attractive human body is worth a million dollars.
Looks like someone robbed your ugly behind.

When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

The holidays are a great time to be with family.  Of course, your family
won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my sister,
you cheating  sucker!

Hey baby, welcome to Dumpsville:
Population...YOU!

We have been friends for a very longtime,
let's say we call it quits.

If you ever need a friend...
buy a dog.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who  the father was?

I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here.



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