[nukkad] Dealing With Disapproval ...

["Samira Razdan" <>]

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Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do 
are in harmony. -Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948)
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One of the most unavoidable lessons of life is having to deal with
the disapproval of others. Praise and blame are all the same... is
a fancy way of reminding us of the old saying that, "You will never
be able to please all the people all the time."

Even in a landslide election victory in which a candidate secures
55% of the vote... (s)he is left with 45% of the population that
wishes someone else were the winner. Pretty humbling, isn't it? :-)

Our approval rating from family, friends, folks we work with isn't
likely to be much higher. The truth is... everyone has their own
set of ideas with which to evaluate life... and our ideas don't
always match those of other people. For some reason, however...
most of us struggle against this inevitable fact. We get angry,
hurt or even frustrated when people reject our ideas... tell us no,
or show us some other form of disapproval.

The sooner we accept the inevitable dilemma of not being able to
win the approval of everyone we meet... the easier our lives will
become. When we expect to be dished out our share of disapproval
instead of *struggling* against this fact... we will develop a
healthy perspective to assist our life journey.

So, rather than feeling rejected by disapproval... we can remind
ourselves, "Here it is again. But that's okay." Similarly, we can
learn to be pleasantly surprised... even grateful when we receive
the approval we are hoping for.  :-)

There are many days when I experience both praise and blame. My
Dad is happy with my behavior, but Mom struggles against it.
Some friend says what a nice person I am... another thinks I am
selfish because I did not return her phone call. This back and
forth... good and bad... approval and disapproval is a part of
everyone's life.   :-)

I am not ashamed to say that I prefer approval over disapproval.
Approval feels better and it's certainly easier to deal with.
But as I have grown older and the more content I have become...
the less I depend on it for my sense of well-being.

Sincerely,
-Sam.










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