[nukkad] FW: Well Trained

["Husain K Jagmag" <>]

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The candle that lights another, loses nothing - Swami Vivekanand
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This is too good.. and too true.. :-))
A bit long but well written and definitely worth the time.

-HKJ.

Well Trained - Dilip Pai 

I don't know why I bother to try. Any fool who's taken the 7:59 from
Virar 
will tell you that you can't get in at Andheri and hope to make it out
in one 
piece at Dadar. To those not in the know, these are two stations on
Bombay's 
famous (oh, okay, notorious) Western line that have -- are you ready for
this? 

-- platforms on opposite sides!! -- meaning you get in through the door
on 
the right at Andheri and exit through the door on the left at Dadar -
which presents 
a slight problem because there are approximately three hundred and
fifty-six people 
in the 8 feet between those doors. By the time you get out -- if you
manage to 
get out, the only proof that your wonderful mother so lovingly pressed
your shirt is 
the hole in your right sleeve.

 But what can you do? The next starting train leaves 5 whole minutes
later and 
you can't take the slow train because you're terminally tardy. Also,
suicidally stupid and 
mortally maniacal. So you get one foot in the door and one hand on the
sill and pray 
to whatever God you think handles the Indian Railway system that should
you fall from 
the train, let it be as quick and painless as possible and more
importantly, may you 
miraculously fall in that one six-inch spot on the long Western Railway
line which is free 
of human excrements. The next ten minutes fly by, the train blasts
through stations of 
smaller stature than Andheri lined with envious passengers who try their
best to pull you 
off it. Then things begin to happen. Inch by inch, you make slow,
halting progress towards 
the other side. At first, people scowl at you, irritated. Then it begins
to dawn on them that 
you're actually trying to get across. Like possessive snakes jealously
guarding mountains of 
gold, they obstruct you, make loud, angry remarks and look threateningly
at you. This is 
the moment of truth, if you capitulate, you're done for and you'll end
up at Churchgate, 
15 kilometers away. But if, like me, you're made of sterner stuff, you
press on. 
You glare back, pushing, swearing; testing weak links in their defense.
Eventually, the 
train starts approaching the station. Your adversaries start twitching
nervously. 
If they don't abandon their posts, they stand a good chance of being
ejected at Dadar on 
their backsides with thousands of people trampling over them, running to
catch connecting 
trains, running for taxis, running for work, or running for whatever it
is that makes people in 
Bombay run. I've come to the conclusion that the best reason for you to
run is that if you 
don't run you're going to get trampled by all the masses of people who
do run. Anyway, 
this is your big chance, this is where you lunge for the weakest point
and rush through like 
a hot knife cutting through butter. After this, the only thing you
really need to do is to make 
sure you land on your feet -- and stay on them, as the teeming masses
rush out like a 
huge wave breaking on an unsuspecting coast.
 Needless to say, you then run. My particular brand of running involved
a three minute 
dash on an obstacle-course -- because that's how much time I had to get
from the Western 
line to the Central line to catch the 8:19. 

I'm often told that I'm a very persistent and enterprising person. Oh,
all right, no one actually 
ever said that to me, not in so many words. 
But if they did, I know what I'd tell them: "There's a reason for that
-- I'm well-trained."


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