Re: [nukkad] Happy marriage

["indian rediff" <>]

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I concur 100%. Dowry should be dealt a death blow by people. No way that the law can do this for us. 

Sadly, education has nothing to do with this. I have known some well educated and obviously literate people take huge amounts in dowry. 

There is nothing wrong in having dowry - provided the girl's father is well-to-do and is willing to pay the amount. I would suggest to the girl's father that he should donate that entire amount to some worthy charity (how to find such a charity in India is a separate e-mail and thread altogether). 

Other ways in which dowry slimes in is via material gifts. The girl's father is forced to buy '40 sovereigns of gold' make it into jewelry and give it to daughter. Next thing you know m-i-l is wearing the stuff. Or buy a car/flat/scooter etc. Buying steel vessels, silver vessels, lots of sarees, gifts for the boy's side guests etc.

I would recommend that BOTH girl's side and boy's side should split all expenses for the entire wedding and bedding 50-50. The Parsis have it right. When you go to attend a Parsi wedding, you are (sometimes quite rudely) asked as you sit for a meal whether you are from the girl's side or boy's side. At the end the caterer bills both sides separately based on the number of guests that attended.

Dowry cannot be legislated away. The only way is to make the wimpy boys more aware and hope that it gives up its death grip on society in about 2-3 generations - i.e., around 50-100 years.

Unfortunately, in my wedding's case, my wife's side of the family paid for the entire wedding (which is traditional). Thankfuly no dowry changed hands (Actually there was no dowry for my mother either, nor her sister nor her brother. All credit to my grandfather). She did get some jewelry - but all of that is with her. 

----- Original Message -----
From: "aryaone" 
Date: Wed, 1 May 2002 09:08:46 -0700
Re: DO AWAY WITH DOWRY
Re: 
Re: Should the dowry be done away with altogether?
Re: 
Re: It can be done on a personal level.
Re: 
Re: Is it a sick tradition which needs to be put to rest?

-- 


Indian (Sai)

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