[nukkad] Learn to adjust, rather than condemn others. Others have right to differ and think differently

["Dr.M.C. Gupta" <>]

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More couples seeking divorce on 'silly' grounds
http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?id=14652782

Sunday, 20 April , 2008, 14:29

New Delhi: The ground beneath Rajni Sinha's feet slipped away when her
husband said he wanted to end their three-year-old relationship
because — guess what — she did not dress well! And this after having a
"love marriage" — unlike most Indian marriages that are arranged by
the families.

The divorce petition filed by husband Sanjay Sinha said, "Despite my
several requests, my wife does not wear modern lifestyle clothes. I
just can't bear the comments from my friends that my wife is not
stylish."

Rajni told IANS: "I was shocked when I received the notice from the
court. It was unbelievable. We had a small fight a few days ago and
after that I came to my maternal home. But it was a small quarrel and
could have been solved easily."

She said the ground was baseless because she had every right to wear
the kind of clothes she wanted to.

"It's my fundamental right to wear clothes, be it traditional or
modern. Nobody has the right to force his/her wish on me. If he wants
to divorce me on this ground then I think he doesn't deserve my love,
dedication and sincerity," Rajni said.

The matter came up for hearing early this month at the matrimonial
court in Tis Hazari. The court also found the ground amusing and
suggested that the couple give it a second thought.

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Rajni's case is not an exception these days for people seeking divorce.

"Marriages end in divorce because people rarely discuss their
expectations in detail prior to tying the knot and are less willing to
work on their marriages afterwards," a judicial officer said.

"They look for quick solutions rather than resolving issues. People
have divorced their spouses for trivial reasons like snoring!"

Kamal Singh Pundhir, a lawyer who deals with matrimonial cases in the
capital, said: "Earlier, the common reason for divorce was mental or
physical torture but now it has more to do with incompatibility,
adjustment problems, temperamental differences and intolerance."

He said growing levels of impatience in relationships were making
couples opt for divorce.

According to an estimate by the judiciary, nearly 1,36,000 weddings
are registered here every year. Conversely, nearly 10,000 divorce
cases are filed in Delhi every year and 10 cases on an average are
filed in one court in the capital every day. Around 12,000 divorces
were cleared last year.

Last year, a man dragged his wife to the Delhi High Court after the
session's court rejected his divorce petition calling the reason
invalid. The man had filed for divorce because of what he called his
wife's arrogance. She had refused to serve tea to his friend and a
quarrel ensued.

The high court too rejected the petition and directed the couple to
live together and solve the dispute.

According to lawyers, some other "inconsequential" reasons cited in
divorce petitions in India these days include refusal to stay with
in-laws, no desire to experiment with lovemaking or unwillingness to
do household chores.

Husbands often allege that spouses do not have table manners or do not
interact with colleagues or refuse to drink at parties.

"These reasons may be silly and minor, but once the couple is intent
on quitting the relationship then not even the judiciary can help
much," said Manisha Jha, a lawyer who deals with marital disputes.

Jha recalls that a wife who once filed for divorce from her husband
after six months of marriage alleged that he neglected her and spent
more time in office.

"I advised her to join some hobby classes or start working, but she
refused. She was firm on getting a divorce. So I filed the case and it
was sent to the mediation cell for consideration," Manisha said.

Lack of communication also leads to divorces.

"You can't have an effective relationship if either of the partners
doesn't discuss his/her feelings, can't talk about mutual or personal
issues, keeps resentments simmering and expects the mate to guess what
the problem is all about," Jha said. ahvenkitesh@gmail.com


-- 
Prof. M C Gupta
MD (Medicine), MPH,  LL.M.,

Advocate & Health and Medico-legal Consultant

mcgupta44@gmail.com
www.writing.com/authors/mcgupta44
http://mcgupta44.blogspot.com/

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