Re: Jesus

["aryaone" <>]

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JESUS

Once a non-Christian was invited to a Catholic church in the United States,
famous for a statue of Christ real bloodied with 8 inch nails into tendons
of hands and feet, hanging on a monstrous cross right above the altar.

During the service everyone prayed from a book, he sat and watched and tried
to look devout, but his eyes would stray to the bloodied Jesus

At the end everyone took each other's hands and began what was a
"witnessing", sharing all the good which befell them since the last turn,
out loud.

A woman sang out, "Lord, thanks for helping me with Butch [her dog], he is
less stressed now and does eat better". Another gave thanks for Uncle Josiah
coming back home to Aunt Jessica and promising never to run off again,
especially with that hussy barmaid.

The outsider began urgently scrambling for something to thank Jesus for, but
could think of nothing. So when his time came, he went into inebriated shock
for two seconds, then suddenly brightening up, he sang out:

"Jesus Lard, I wanna know when the Flock will take you off the roof where
you are hanging and the pain must be something awful, considering you have
been blowing in the breeze since at least 60 years when the church was
enacted. Anytime you wanna come off, I will volunteer and we'll wash your
wounds and maybe dress them, they could be easily infected you know. Jus'
let me know."

And he relaxed and waited, quite beatific, smugly waiting for the next
person to try to outdo THAT.

When he realized that was not happening, he looked about him and ran into
pairs a dark, very upset eyes. The service screeched to a halt, the 5 piece
band began Halle Luya with a vengeance, and people careened off him as
though he had Hansen's disease.

Outside in the foyer the priest came abreast him much like a tugboat to a
derelict at sea, and said, "My son, perhaps you do not know, that it is his
very blood of our Lord which is our salvation, he has taken our sins upon
himself, and must be bloodied, God bless him." And the man sauntered off,
very satisfied at having put an heathen in his own place.

It was evening, everyone took this as signal to clear off, including the
person who brought him there, and soon the parking lots was empty, and he
very much alone. At the bus stand outside, someone informed him, after two
hours, that the buses don't run Sundays.

He walked home and reached his door at midnight, having had enough time to
visit his own sins.

As he entered, he muttered, " How awful, I have none which I would like to
give Him. Something must be wrong with me!"

Arya.




















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