New age Advice for life

["" <>]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tip of the day:  Remember, this "nukkad" is international.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ADVICE FOR LIFE

  1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the
     statue.
  2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat
     them.
  3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
     middle of it.
  4. Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors,
     and miss.
  5. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their
     maker.
  6. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you
     for the rest of the day.
  7. If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and
     shoot other people in the eyes.
  8.  If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
  9.  If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
 10.  If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
 11.  If you lend someone Rs. 20, and never see that person again, it
     was probably worth it.
 12.  If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
     that loan payments.
 13.  If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then
     lie.
 14.  It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
     warning to others.
 15.  Never buy a car you can't push.
 16.  Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then
     you don't have a leg to stand on.
 17.  Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys
     the pig.
 18.  Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
 19.  The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
 20.  There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through
     a suitable application of high explosives.
 21.  There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending
     with 'or die.'
 22. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
 23.  You are what you eat. So stay away from the junk food.
 24. Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -- you'll be working
     for them in the future.


--
Cheers

Sameer
mailto:sameer.upadhye@ae.ge.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

...I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.




------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Subscribe [Unsubscribe] send a blank message to 
        nukkad-list-request@mumbai-central.com 
with the word 'subscribe' ['unsubscribe'] (without quotes) in the Subject 
of your message.
The list is archived at  http://www.mumbai-central.com/nukkad/archive.html