[nukkad] How about some Tact

["Ragini Chaturvedi" <>]

TACT

The Language of Strength

It's pretty much an accepted fact that human beings make decisions
emotionally, and then back up their emotion-based decisions with logic. We
"rationalize"... that is, we tell ourselves "rational lies." And every one
else does the same. Often, whether or not people will buy into what we say
depends less upon logic, than on how their ego accepts the words they hear
from us.

Wouldn't you agree that, generally speaking, few people truly enjoy being
corrected or criticized? I mean, I can't think of the last time someone
criticized me, and I responded by saying, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU for
pointing out the error of my ways. "Yet, in the real world, correcting and
critiquing others is a part of life. Your kids didn't clean their rooms,
your spouse overpaid on a negotiable product, your associate mishandled a
presentation, your customer is not working with you correctly, etc.

There is one concept above practically all else that makes the biggest
difference in your ability to persuade others to your way of thinking and
attain the results you desire. It is known by several different words:
diplomacy, delicacy, sensitivity, savior faire, and yes, "tact."

Tact is the language of strength. It is the ability to say something or
make a point in such a way that not only is the other person not offended;
they are totally receptive. Learning what to say and how to say it will
get results for you which will seem just like magic. Every situation you
find yourself in, and every time you must call someone's attention to a
particular way of acting, keep "tact" in mind. Tact will be the key to how
those people receive you and what you say, and whether that person will
ultimately take the action that will benefit all concerned.

How do we utilize tact? First, we consider what we are going to say...
before we say it. We edit our speech, before the speech. We ask ourselves
questions such as, "How will he or she 'feel' about what I'm about to say,
and how I'm about to say it."

Take a pretend tape recorder with you over the next 21 days, and "play
back" every conversation you have. Ask yourself, "Did I think before I
spoke", "Was I considerate of their feelings?", "Was I gentle in my
manner?", and was the expression on my face consistent with my words?"
Let's make an agreement, you and I, that we'll analyze the way we talk to
others for just 21 days. If you feel as though you don't know the exact
right words -- no problem. Begin with the right thoughts; the rest we'll
take care of week-by-week.

written by Bob Burg the author of "Endless Referrals"