Re: Arranged MArriages - Pros & Cons

[Milind Sathe <>]

Title: Re: Arranged MArriages - Pros & Cons

Hi,

Here is my take on arranged marriages :

        First of all, I have nothing against Love marriages. I think it is up to every individual to decide how he/she wants to get married.

        In Indian scenario particularly, arranged marriages work more because in India, the compatibility in marriage is not only important between the brige and the groom but the family compatibilities also are important. Particularly so because we still have a joint family structure in India.

        The differences in day to day living may not be obvious or known to the boy and the girl. I had a friend (bengali) who married a punjabi boy. And I have seen fights right from whether the kids should have tea before they brush to the kind of ceremonies to be performed for a new born.

        Intercaste marriaged also work, but an important thing to consider is interreligion marriages. I think those kind of marriages are not very successful. Because there are so many differences in living styles, food habits etc.. The married coupl can make the adjustments between themselves but the parents and kids are sacrificed. Just to give an example, one of my friend(girl) from a hindu brahmin family was in love with a muslim guy. And despite of everyones efforts, she ran away and married him. Nothing against muslims, but this girl was a pure vegeterian. She still doesn;t eat meat, but she has to cook meat every day. And also, she was converted. And she has to move everywhere in a burka. And worst of all, when she couldn't conceive a child her husband married a second time.

        It was so painful for all us her friends and her parents to see the girl go from madly in love with the guy to its ok.. we are living a good life to my life is ruined cause my husband went for second marriage. It just doesn;t work. At least in middle class families.

        But all said and done, the love marriages can also work in most conflicting scenarios.

        Please regard all these comments and examples as only those : comments and examples. I have nothing against anybody and I dont mean to do a right or wrong analysis here.

Milind