RE: Arranged Marriages - Pros & Cons

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Hi Nukkies!

        I am trying to put together my two bit opinion for whatever its worth on
this topic. I am not much of a writer so please tolerate the ranting...

        The discussion seems to be oriented towards analyzing and dissecting
arranged marriage tradition.  I am not saying that it is without its flaws but
then Why not take a look at the the other alternative  ? the love marriage ? Why
not consider its pros and cons ?

        The biggest drawback of arranged marriage is that the guy and gal do not
get to have sufficient time to meet and appraise each other. That point has
already been decided by the respective parents on a skewed set of criteria. But
take the flip side. In a love marriage, why is there an often expressed anger that
you were not like this before marriage ! what made you change ? I am not saying
that it is common in a love marriage but then there are also arranged marriages
which turned out to be rock solid ! There are cases where love blossomed in a
arranged marriage !

        Compared to that there are also love marriages that ran into a cyclone
over accusations and counter accusations. The most common one being that he or she
accusing the other to spend more time at work and not home." Tum to pahale aaise
na the ! Tab to mere liye wakt nikaal paate the . Aab kya hua ? " Seems to be a
good example. That kicks in the rest of the set of accusations over philandering
etc.Empty mind being devil's workshop , it does not take much time to drive a
wedge in a otherwise sound marriage. It might be that he or she had a overdue
project delivary date with a tight schedule gone for toss because of somebody
else's mistake and forced to work late. Tell that to the other half who is
thinking that he/she is having affair with someone from office. They don't belive.

        I agree that this scenario is equally likely to appear in a arranged
marriage too but appears more so in a love marriage because of the inherant
insecurity feeling on which such a marriage is based. In a love marriage people
tend to think that he is dependent on me. And he thinks she depends on him. So it
starts to breed a feeling of insecurity if one of the two has a inferirity feel
which can have variety of origines. The arrnaged marriage on the other hand has a
more solid foundation as the choice is made by the parents who have done it based
on their life long experience. That gives a feeling of security to the couple
making them less prone to the inherant insecurity of a love marriage.


            Last but definitely not the least, the main advantage of love
marriage, the love is blown to smitheerins when the demon of suspicion (espcially
the the wrong one) creeps in !




--
Cheers

Sameer
mailto:sameer.upadhye@ae.ge.com
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