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Tip of the day: "By learning you will teach, by teaching you will
learn." - Latin Proverb
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PAAN IN OMAN
In early 70 s the present Sultan Qaboos came to power in Oman after the
British M15 helped shoot his father at the hands of his most trusted
bodyguard around the dinner table.
The brand new Sultan came to helm at the time the Oil glitch happened and
there was more money in the land then people knew what to do with. Which is
when the official Go-to-Gulf Young Man era began.
Cities sprang up over raw earth where Queen Sheba had walked, the land is
that old. Roads materialized connecting one part of an empty desert to the
verdant green hills, the Jabal Akhdar.
Two things everyone forgot. One, the sewage pipes under the cities and two,
urinals. Bunches of Indians and Pakistanis flocked in to the land with empty
pockets and full bladders, and soon the ever present Pan began to show up in
streaks of red as though someone was murdered there at night Brutus fashion,
side by side with the ammonia odor of decomposing urine.
A Council of Heads convened composed of British advisors and Omani Sheikhs
and Egyptian Under-Secretaries. Two laws were enacted by Majlis [House] of
Diwan [Royal] which stated:
It is hereby MAMNUU, prohibited to emit any liquid of yellow or red color in
a public place from either the oral or the genital orifice unless otherwise
state. The law stands to this day if you don't believe it. It was sealed
with the Grand Seal of the Daggers and Baton Rampant in red ink, they love
red there.
In Oman the Shurta [Police] rule supreme and hold more real power than any
minister or field marshal. If you want to know why you will be shown the
Crown on the epaulettes. Then, most of the Shurta were 20 year olds from
Salallah to the south, a wild morose bunch of people who dislike the
Northerners in the Capital. Beside most were second cousin to the King.
The same night A Urine-Pan Brigade was let loose and picked up any person
spitting or ------g in any place which was even remotely visible. They were
grabbed from outside cinemas at the last show, at taxi stands [there were no
buses in that land]; packed of in military trucks and left to fend on their
own in a temporary detention corral outside the city, which by the way is
where the desert unofficially began, sans pani, pan, or ughaldan*.
People in the city got the drift and Pan became a bad word, chewed much like
hashish on an American campus. And bladders became publicly defunct. In 2
days khel kahat hua.
Everyone congratulated everyone else and it was no mean achievement. The
Brigade came to an honorable end and all became well in the Land of Sheba.
Except the thousand or so souls who were stuck outside the city wandering
about on foot and at the mercy of anyone who would give water. By the 2
day's end Gujerati workmen under an Omani corporal came, tore down the
barbed wire, threw the same to the side in the desert, and went away. The
stragglers reached city by dawn next day.
Paan and Muttudaan* were never heard of again.
ughaldan - spittoon
muttdan - same for you know what
Arya.
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