[nukkad] They never change...Men or Women...a little laughter

["Ragini" <>]

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The 5 Toughest Questions That Women Ask Men
       
The questions are:

            1. What are you thinking about?
            2. Do you love me?
            3. Do I look fat?
            4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
            5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every
one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if
the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells  the truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible 
responses.

     Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry
if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on
what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring,
intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have
met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the
true answer, which most likely is one of the
following:
A. Baseball.
B. Football.
C. How fat you are.
D. How much prettier she is than you.
E. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was
offered by a TV sitcom, where the husband told his
wife, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I
would be talking to you!")

           Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more
detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:
A. I suppose so.
B. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
C. That depends on what you mean by love.
D. Does it matter?
E. Who, me?

           Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:
A. Compared to what?
B. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly 
   thin.
C. A little extra weight looks good on you.
D. I've seen fatter.
E. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking 
   about how I would spend the insurance money if you
   died.

 Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of
course not!"

Incorrect responses include:
A. Yes, but you have a better personality
B. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
C. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
D. Define pretty
E. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking 
   about how I would spend the insurance money if you
   died.

     Question# 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or
course, is "Buy a Sports Car.") No matter how you
answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of
follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
            
W: Why not, don't you like being married?
M: Of course I do.
            
W: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
M: Okay, I'd get married again.
            
W: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
M: Yes, I would.
           
W: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
M: Where else would we sleep?
            
W: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them 
   with pictures of her?
M: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

W: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
M: Of course not, Dear. She's left-handed.


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